Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Prison of Endless Parenthood (esp Motherhood)

I didn't see either my mother or my father that much during my youth.  I lived with my father for less than 4 years before he passed away.  My mother worked nights, had boyfriends, and ultimately created a weekend Mexican beach home where she got away from me during high school.  Actually, I could have gone to her beach home, but rarely did, preferring to have time by myself and with my high school friends.  At the time, I looked at this differently; I had the great fortune to be able to get away from my mother's nagging and do my own thing.

This seems so different from what is considered even the minimum sacrifice of parenthood nowadays, or at least it seems that way by comparison with mothers I know.

For all the time I had without parental supervision, parental mind or heart sharing, or whatever, it doesn't seem to me that I became a lesser person.  Actually, I feel it made me a more independent thinking person, a more creative and intelligent person, and ultimately a greater asset to society, if not myself.  (I am, perhaps, too disorganized and sloppy for my own good.  I don't deny that could simply be my choice.)

This could be just me, and don't get me wrong I was lucky in very many ways, including that I did have loving parents, who loved me when they were with me, a loving older sister, and various relatives, parent's friends, and friend's parents.

But I strongly believe now, that various conservative forces have converged to turn parenthood into a virtual prison for parents.  And I believe it is no good either for parents or children.

It's true, some of these forces can't merely be wished away.  For one, the cost of college has become astronomical.  The importance of college has become more important too; when I grew up many blue collar workers were often making more than average college graduates, or so it seemed to me.  Plumbers, autoworkers, electricians, even phone workers in those days.

That's not to say that if you get your college degree, you can always get a commensurate job.  Or any job.  But if you don't, well, you're likely to be part of the permanent far under class.

That's another thing...I knew a fellow computer programmer who was doing very well, in fact probably much better than me, with no college degree, never even been to college.  And look at Bill Gates, he dropped out of his first year in college (famously to start Microsoft).  Many other names you can name from decades ago became quite successful with no college.  Now you may still imagine doing such a thing, if you get lucky to be a top entertainer or athelete, which is less likely than getting struck by lightning for most people.  But otherwise, it's still possible, but good luck.

Now if it does become true that a college degree doesn't pay it's cost, you might think there would be a student strike.  But not likely, the way it always works is that some are played against others.

But other than that, beyond the sheer economics of terror of the lesser-helpful-government era, the mind control system constantly reinforces the need for infinite parental sacrifice, far more than would be balanced for either parents or children.

Real communities are not just about families, though suburban living strongly reinforces the family above all other associations.  It has gone so far it is not healthy for people or society.

And it is certainly not healthy for having enough time for adult play and sex.





My mother and father were virtually separated when I was born, and I lived  When I was 7, my father retired in a different state and moved into our house (which he had helped buy).